I get some funny pitch e-mails every so ofter, from people who want me to mention their product on my blog. I do not, it is what I used to do and hope to do again in the future when I am once again employed. One from Ask.com caught my eye because of how funny the answers could be.
Evidently there are thousands of questions about wine that are asked regularly. And Ask.com records all of them. If you think that every single keystroke you make is not recorded somewhere, you are kidding youself. The people at Ask.com looked through their database of what people have typed in and come up with their top 10 questions that people ask on Ask. I have included my own answers, although there were different, perhaps better (who is to say for sure) answers included in the e-mail I received.
1. How many calories are in a glass of wine?Depends how big the glass is, but then you have to ask yourself, why are you eating glass...
2. How do I make wine?
Ask a winemaker, I just drink the stuff.
3. What is port wine?
4. How many bottles of wine are in a case?
Traditionally 12, but I can stuff closer to 15 in one of those babies.
5. What is Marsala wine?
Wine from Marsala. You see, wasn't that helpful?
6. What wine goes best with chicken?
Twisted Oak. Although maybe that's just rubber chickens... still need to get me one of those.
7. Who is the god of wine?
The one that brings me the most bottles... or Dionysus, whichever!
8. How long does wine last once opened?
Fifteen minutes to an hour. If I am really thirsty, not even that long.
9. How do I remove red wine spills from carpet?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING SPILLING THE WINE?!
10. What is the best way to open a bottle of wine?
This way: Smash!
How often do you find yourself asking these questions?